Mom's thoughts on graduation

A multitude of thoughts flash through the mind of this mother on the day after her youngest child's graduation from high school. Of the milestones our children have passed up to this point, this one looms above as the major icon of "growing up."

We marveled at the first words, cheered the first steps, and wept as we left them for their first day of school. All the accomplishments during those 13 or so years come together in one evening as we see our babies don the cap and gown and walk across the stage to receive that all-important piece of paper that signifies they have "graduated."

Dictionary.com offers this definition of "graduation":
1. An act of graduating; the state of being graduated.
2. The ceremony of conferring degrees of diplomas, as at a college or school.
3. Arrangement in degrees, levels, or ranks.

Also a synonym for graduation is "commencement":
1. An act or instance of commencing; beginning
2. The ceremony of conferring degrees or granting diplomas at the end of the academic year.
3. The day on which this ceremony takes place.

Arrangements in degrees, levels, or ranks suggests one graduation may be the first of many, thus "commencement," an instance of beginning. The high school graduation is but the beginning of our child's life as an adult, even though we might prefer to continue thinking of them as our babies.

Knowing as we do the many struggles and joys ahead it is hard to think of letting them venture into the big wide world. When we've been right there for every accomplishment and defeat, how will they ever get along without us?

For those of you who are 'first-timers' to have a child graduate, I can tell you that you will survive. I don't think it really gets any easier with each one, but it is different. Some new grads will be leaving for the summer, while some will remain home until college begins in the fall, and some will immediately embark on life on their own, moving away or down the street. Whichever they choose, they are changed after receiving that diploma. Even if they are still under your roof, there is a sense of their independence that was not present before as they are more in control of their decisions and pursuits. They have taken the first major step to being their own individuals.

It was a shock to my system after my oldest daughter graduated, loading her possessions into her car to travel to Colorado to work for the summer. Lu went straight from there to college at NWOSU, three hours from home, and spent no more than a week or two under our roof until after her college graduation.

Luckily I had the other two to distract me and keep me busy, but the tears flowed as I cleaned out her room so her sister could move into it, leaving her room for Rusty.

When Jenny graduated it was somewhat different as she was not ready to leave home for good, going no father than Cameron in Lawton for college. It was still traumatic in ways as she transitioned into adulthood in such close proximity. After turning over her bedroom to her brother, she wound up back living with us, taking back her original room, but very much grown up and in charge of her own life.

Now here's Rusty, gathering up his things and getting ready to head off to Colorado to work, saying he does not plan to be moving back in. As much as I enjoy quiet time, the thought of not having one or the other of the kids popping in and out is sobering. Also sobering is the thought that all my children are now adults.

Although Jen is still here part of the time, I have a feeling that may not last much longer. After 33 years we will have an "empty nest." It's quite jarring to have that thought hitting home. I am comforted with knowing what a close family we are and that we will be together as often as possible. The wonderful cell phone and internet will keep us connected and there are lots of family holidays.

Two coming events loom in my mind. Watching Rusty drive off next week will surely be a tear-jerker of great proportions. Then next fall when school starts here and I don't have to be aware of the schedule or who is teaching what, after having a child in the Snyder school system since 1981, reality will sink in.

That said, I am so very proud of Rusty for all he has accomplished, and the individual he has always been. And I am going to enjoy seeing just where life takes him from here.


Lu, Rusty & Jenny and the beautiful bouquet Rusty gave me before graduation.